So being sad and alone, I spend time on the internet. And this made me laugh out loud.
This was not on Postsecret or Found Magazine, but on Bebe Zeva (of Hipster Runoff fame)'s myspace. Before I digress, although I love Carles the ultimate altbro, this was (most probably/definitely) written parodically. Doing that which is 'kewl'/prompting entire world to feel idiotic.

"I want to fall in love with somebody. I want to completely possess their heart. I want them to possess mine, but I want them to kind of 'grow apart' from me. And then break my heart. I want to get so caught up in the concept of keeping a relationship alive that I become completely unreasonable and out of touch with reality. I want to pin my entire hopes and dreams and existence to somebody. Inside of my brain, I want there to be a concept of how I want my life to go and what I want it to be. Then I want them to shatter all of this. I want them to break my heart. I want to cry 'authentically'. And feel helpless, and feel like 'nothing matters'. Because the person I love the most doesn't love me back and doesn't share the same vision of the future with me. I want to be sad. I want them to not be sad and treat me like shit and ignore me. [This would make life more meaningful.]"

this made me laugh.
oh and i've never been kissed.
all of you, stop telling me i'm lying.