i want you to be a real friend, give me fragments of gossip, (a casualty of reconnaissance), and take sides. i need you to fight, for once, and prefer me. i want you to be the you used to, pure and sweet, and unyielding to a force of reckonable goodness, one i once attempted to scoff. i need you to take a step back and realise what you've actually become; an indeterminable whelp. i want you to tell me i'm still the greatest person you could have possibly met, one night, or any other. i need you to reiterate any fickle promises you made, to be there with bells on every part of your body, or to go to the ends of the earth or whatever wordy poppycock you spurt. i want you to get away, run and never speak to me, never be enchanted by my wiles, never allow me to tempt you. i need you to let me do whatever i like. i want you to have every life experience, every foreign taste, and unfamiliar scent, and to follow that myself one day. i need you to never leave, and forsake us to the beasts of change. i want you to find me an emotional tardis. i need you to disappear forever, because any rip in the space-time continuum won't change a thing. i want you to just leave me alone sometimes. i need you to just try and understand me, and prove some remnant of friendship can permeate you. i want for us to do our thing, and balance our individual strengths. i need to you to like me best, so i'm not always the fool. i want you to hit 'F5' on you whole life, and realise what destructive seeds you plant in tumultuous soil. i need you to stop influencing my mood with your divine right of irritation. i want you to stop what you're doing. i need you to never stop what you're doing.

i want an end to relationship sadism. i need to feed off pain.
i want to leave behind my contradictions. but i need white lies to get me though.